Help

I am STILL not over my ex. I keep trying to stop talking to him but I can't. I still am in love with him and it is so obvious when I see him. I really truly don't understand it. It's not like he treated me so great or that he is this wonderful amazing guy. I don't know how 4 months of dating this one guy has caused me so much misery. It has been over 6 months now since we broke up. And he is still with his gf. And we still talk. I know about him not being happy and how depressed he gets when they fight. I also know how much he enjoys talking to me and says he loves hanging out with me. I know he is not in love with me. I just hate that he enjoys me so much and yet I am not the one he wants. Maybe it's an ego thing. Idk but it still hurts. I am trying to date someone new right now. He is great. He is so sweet and kind. I feel like such an awful person for still dealing with my ex. He told me tonight that he still talks to his ex a few times a month. But I talk to mine almost everyday and I see him about twice a month. Plus I am still in love with him. Why am I upset?
-He walked out the door on me and didn't seem upset at all.
-Whenever they fight or things are rocky he is so depressed and upset.
-He was dating her while he was dating me
-He never treated me like a gf. Like he was in love with me.
-He still talks and sees me so much. Against her wishes too
-I feel lost and out of control
-The only solution is to stop talking to him, or at least try to ween myself off of him. I am currently trying to do that.
-The whole relationship was crap. I was in this fairy tale bubble. So happy. But the whole time he was in a different place. I think I was his rebound girl. We had lots of sex, but he never called me baby or sweet names. He only added me on Facebook to get a hold of me after he lost his phone.

WHY can't I accept he never loved me and was just using me? Why can't I let myself see that and not answer his calls or texts? I know I have a hard time letting go. My crazy ex bf Anthony and I were still friends as of a month ago. Hell we were hooking up sometimes too. He was a terrible guy and yet I still try and text him. I have real self esteem issues and I wish I could get some counseling for it. I just don't have any money. But if I want to be happy. I gotta fix this situation.