There is hope

Well good news....I haven't talked to my ex since Saturday. He wasn't giving me any time of day so I got upset. He attempted to call me twice that night after many hours later but I ignored him. I tried to talk to him monday and tuesday, But he already had me on block, I did not call him or text him on wed or thurs. Hooray! He hasn't tried to contact me but I am over caring about that fact. I have been struggling for 7 months now. 7 months!! I have compared myself to this 23 year old girl that I do not even know. I have asked myself countless times why doesn't he want me? Why doesn't he love me? Why doesn't he call me or text me more after we slept together. One answer to all this is that he is an asshole. In fact in my phone he is currently ass lol I was training a new girl tonight and not trying to tell her all my business but i mentioned my situation and that I feel like all i do is compare myself to this other chick. I explained that I am going on 32 my ex was 26 and the new gf is 23. She said oh well they are nowhere in the same league as you. Somehow that made me feel good. I have low self esteem and I think this was just too much for me. I am always getting abandoned by an ex. But this time I knew who I was replaced with and I knew what their relationship was like. That is why I am so glad I was forced in some way to end this. I could of stayed around and be at his beck and call when he was lonely. But that wasn't enough for me and I am not sorry for feeling that way. So we shall see. I feel like I always post post like these and months later I'm like so well I didn't stop talking to him lol But I feel so good tonight. I feel like the old me and I really don't to let ass take that away from me again. I am stronger then that....FINALLY!!

Help

I am STILL not over my ex. I keep trying to stop talking to him but I can't. I still am in love with him and it is so obvious when I see him. I really truly don't understand it. It's not like he treated me so great or that he is this wonderful amazing guy. I don't know how 4 months of dating this one guy has caused me so much misery. It has been over 6 months now since we broke up. And he is still with his gf. And we still talk. I know about him not being happy and how depressed he gets when they fight. I also know how much he enjoys talking to me and says he loves hanging out with me. I know he is not in love with me. I just hate that he enjoys me so much and yet I am not the one he wants. Maybe it's an ego thing. Idk but it still hurts. I am trying to date someone new right now. He is great. He is so sweet and kind. I feel like such an awful person for still dealing with my ex. He told me tonight that he still talks to his ex a few times a month. But I talk to mine almost everyday and I see him about twice a month. Plus I am still in love with him. Why am I upset?
-He walked out the door on me and didn't seem upset at all.
-Whenever they fight or things are rocky he is so depressed and upset.
-He was dating her while he was dating me
-He never treated me like a gf. Like he was in love with me.
-He still talks and sees me so much. Against her wishes too
-I feel lost and out of control
-The only solution is to stop talking to him, or at least try to ween myself off of him. I am currently trying to do that.
-The whole relationship was crap. I was in this fairy tale bubble. So happy. But the whole time he was in a different place. I think I was his rebound girl. We had lots of sex, but he never called me baby or sweet names. He only added me on Facebook to get a hold of me after he lost his phone.

WHY can't I accept he never loved me and was just using me? Why can't I let myself see that and not answer his calls or texts? I know I have a hard time letting go. My crazy ex bf Anthony and I were still friends as of a month ago. Hell we were hooking up sometimes too. He was a terrible guy and yet I still try and text him. I have real self esteem issues and I wish I could get some counseling for it. I just don't have any money. But if I want to be happy. I gotta fix this situation.