Wtf

I am currently going through a break up and thus I decided I needed to get it all out. Let's see so my ex and I broke up in June, then got back together at the end of June...then broke up at the start of July. I know drama already, you ain't seen nothing yet. So we hated each other, well I hated him, for like 2 weeks, Then his cat died and we started talking as friends. Then one night...2 nights we hooked up. All along him saying he was no longer in love with me and he wanted someone else entirely. I couldn't let it go. Damn it that man loves me and I know it. So after the 2nd time of hooking up we had a very deep heart to heart. I told him how devastating this all was for me and I was literally not healthy because of it. I didn't eat for a few days and I was in such a depression. So we agreed to not speak for a week. Well Monday went by, Tuesday went by and Wednesday I had this great realization of who I was and all my past mistakes. Well I text my mom she was happy to hear I was doing well. I text my 3 best friends, they couldn't be happier for me. And for some reason I thought it a brilliant idea to text my ex. I think he was mad that I was so happy because he really acted like he could careless. As the night went on we talked again. He was more interested in things and seemed happy I was moving on. So things ended on an ok note. The next day,today btw, I text him during the day wishing him a good day. 5 hours later I text him saying how once again I had realized some great stuff. He text back maybe 30 minutes later saying that was good and sorry he's had a bad couple of days. I didn't see the point on texting back. So probably 2 hours later he text me, saying he guesses I have nothing else to say and to enjoy my new life and he will stay out of it. I should of just let him say that and not respond. But he knew that would get me. So I responded ofcourse I want you in my life and he said ok. So many hours later like 2 am I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning dealing with ideas of going back to school. Who did I text? My ex. He was kind and encouraging. Until he said something like this has nothing to do with "us" just you. and to go for it. I was like us? I asked him to not say us again because it was hurtful. I know there will never be an us again, but why would he say that. He then said I was being dramatic and that we should just stop talking. Then I yelled, I cried, and I forgave. He said at the end that this was pointless and we just shouldn't talk for awhile. I said why put a time frame on it. if we wanna talk we should just talk. He said well he needed it to be for awhile because he has to focus on work, moving and etc. That etc part was the new girl he wants to be with. Well feeling like I had nothing to lose I said we we shouldn't try so hard, we are exes for a reason. Then he said ofcourse we are exes and its not fair to him, me or anyone else to say we are anything more then friends. So I stopped texting and now I am just pissed. I finally see that its totally ended. Its not right but its ok as whitney says. I finally have to throw in the towel and face facts he doesn't love me anymore. Although everyone in my life thinks he was an awful man, I still loved him. I believed him when he said he wanted a future. I believed him when he seemed like he would miss me in his life. I'm sure he will but just as a friend. How can someone love you one day and then not the next month? I have to just deal with it and tonight honestly and truly has made me see the truth. As much as I don't want that truth, I finally see it,