Much has changed

Well after that night somewhere and somehow I got back with my ex. It was early august when it all happened. We were back together by my birthday, Aug 9th. At first things were great. He acted like the old bf I knew. He even paid for everything! I asked him before we got back together if this truly was what he wanted, something very serious. He said of course and actually a few weeks later he spent a whole week with me. After that week, end of august, he changed. Actually before that happened while he was staying with me I asked him about Facebook and why we were not friends on it. I deleted him after we broke up and never re added him. I didn't really wanna add him since nobody knew him and I were back together. But it bothered me he never even asked me about it. Anyways he said he never used it so why add me. I cried and was very upset that night. I truly believed he was still with the Jennifer from this summer. He assured me I was wrong and he didn't want her anymore. He also told me they hadn't even spoken since the summer. On his Facebook page they are friends. With him standing next to me I clicked on her name and he went crazy. He got very antsy and made me get off her page. He claimed she was very private and that was just wrong of me to look. Anyways so yeah he began to become very distant. He claimed he was sick. Of course he didn't just have a cold he had pneumonia. For a solid month we saw each other maybe once a week and text during the day. I think we still talked on the phone. So he was still sick and I was still always just waiting for him to be ok. I turned to him so much during my bad days and he just wasn't around. I would call him all the time and he would tell me the next day he was sleeping. But then he would say he was up and down all night. So not once could he check on me? Anywho so October rolled around. I saw him once after 2 weeks. It felt good and things seemed ok. Not perfect and it did seem like something was wrong. In-fact he was texting a lot that evening. I had to send him home at some point because my sister and I were going to the fair. He didn't seem to care at all. He claimed he probably go to work that night anyways. Ok so that was last tues/wed. He left my apartment wed and I didn't hear from him again. One text a day maybe, telling me he was so busy. Always I love you and im sorry. But never a chance for us to actually talk. The friday before last I called him at about 1 am to tell him how sad i was that we hadn't talked since wed. For some reason I needed to tell him something else, for the life of me I don't know what it was now, so I called him back at 145. His phone was off! Can you believe that? So about 3 he text me saying he fell asleep and that his phone had died. He was sorry to upset me and he was going back to bed. Thats it! Oh I was pissed. I was pretty sure that night he was indeed back with Jennifer. Probably fucking her that night. Now here it all comes to a halt......Last Monday I was spying on the chat room that he frequents. They were talking about how they were all having a party and they mentioned my ex was going to be there. So now he is making plans with them and not with his own gf. He met his little gf Jennifer at a party this summer. So I knew that would be who he was seeing there. I went ape shit. I text him at 1 am and said I am dropping your shit off tonight. We met in a parking lot and I let him have it. He made the mistake of saying he was not with Jennifer and showed me a text from her. It was dated October 16th and it was totally out of context. Dumb ass you just framed yourself! I truly believe someone was looking out for me that night. Because the conversation went from angry as hell to wanting him back. Right when I was trying to get him back, I said why aren't you even fighting thing. He said because I don't want a serious relationship with you right now. So I called him a fucking coward and a dick. I said Fuck You and literally sped off . He text me like 30 minutes later for some reason saying. you didn't hear me, I said I don't want a serious relationship that's what you were pushing for. Dumb ass I am NOT going to just wait around while you date someone else too! It makes my skin crawl to think he could date two people at once. He knew exactly what I wanted and he encouraged it at first. I guess until fresh meat, jennifer, wanted him. I guess I was his back up if they didn't work out. So here I am Friday night. 4 days of no contact. Btw I blocked him from my phone. I am still sickened by his behavior and all I wish I could do was erase him from my memory, I hope karma comes around soon. I deserve a great life, he deserves to be alone!!

Wtf

I am currently going through a break up and thus I decided I needed to get it all out. Let's see so my ex and I broke up in June, then got back together at the end of June...then broke up at the start of July. I know drama already, you ain't seen nothing yet. So we hated each other, well I hated him, for like 2 weeks, Then his cat died and we started talking as friends. Then one night...2 nights we hooked up. All along him saying he was no longer in love with me and he wanted someone else entirely. I couldn't let it go. Damn it that man loves me and I know it. So after the 2nd time of hooking up we had a very deep heart to heart. I told him how devastating this all was for me and I was literally not healthy because of it. I didn't eat for a few days and I was in such a depression. So we agreed to not speak for a week. Well Monday went by, Tuesday went by and Wednesday I had this great realization of who I was and all my past mistakes. Well I text my mom she was happy to hear I was doing well. I text my 3 best friends, they couldn't be happier for me. And for some reason I thought it a brilliant idea to text my ex. I think he was mad that I was so happy because he really acted like he could careless. As the night went on we talked again. He was more interested in things and seemed happy I was moving on. So things ended on an ok note. The next day,today btw, I text him during the day wishing him a good day. 5 hours later I text him saying how once again I had realized some great stuff. He text back maybe 30 minutes later saying that was good and sorry he's had a bad couple of days. I didn't see the point on texting back. So probably 2 hours later he text me, saying he guesses I have nothing else to say and to enjoy my new life and he will stay out of it. I should of just let him say that and not respond. But he knew that would get me. So I responded ofcourse I want you in my life and he said ok. So many hours later like 2 am I couldn't sleep. I was tossing and turning dealing with ideas of going back to school. Who did I text? My ex. He was kind and encouraging. Until he said something like this has nothing to do with "us" just you. and to go for it. I was like us? I asked him to not say us again because it was hurtful. I know there will never be an us again, but why would he say that. He then said I was being dramatic and that we should just stop talking. Then I yelled, I cried, and I forgave. He said at the end that this was pointless and we just shouldn't talk for awhile. I said why put a time frame on it. if we wanna talk we should just talk. He said well he needed it to be for awhile because he has to focus on work, moving and etc. That etc part was the new girl he wants to be with. Well feeling like I had nothing to lose I said we we shouldn't try so hard, we are exes for a reason. Then he said ofcourse we are exes and its not fair to him, me or anyone else to say we are anything more then friends. So I stopped texting and now I am just pissed. I finally see that its totally ended. Its not right but its ok as whitney says. I finally have to throw in the towel and face facts he doesn't love me anymore. Although everyone in my life thinks he was an awful man, I still loved him. I believed him when he said he wanted a future. I believed him when he seemed like he would miss me in his life. I'm sure he will but just as a friend. How can someone love you one day and then not the next month? I have to just deal with it and tonight honestly and truly has made me see the truth. As much as I don't want that truth, I finally see it,